R.J.'s Talkback Plebe Radio

If I could change anything at all about my body/face/etc

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:24:19 GMT

I would give myself a longer neck.

Pity that's one of the few things plastic surgery can't fix.

Stupid surgeons.

Having an /uglyday

memetastic

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:00:49 GMT

Meme via . I have also put in my most hated too. :D

#1. Your Fav Perfume: I like vanilla and chocolate smells.
Least Fav: I don't like most commercial perfumes. Blurgh.

#2. Your Fav Colour: Black.
Least Fav: Purple.

#3. Your Fav thing you love to buy: QQRice. Little rice balls. With food in them. OMG.
Least Fav: Clothes.

#4. Your Fav male actor: I think the only actors whose movies I always watch are Will Smith, Bruce Willis, Keanu Reeves and Jet Li. I fucken love Stephen Chow though. (The only actress whose movies I always watch is Rachel Weiss, fuck damn she has class. I always wind up watching Thandie Newton movies, too, but only I think to watch how terrible the movie that surrounds her is. Oh Thandie, you're possibly the most beautiful woman on the planet, but fuck damn tell your agent to get you into a GOOD MOVIE as opposed to the wealth of shite you seem to wander aimlessly into.)
Least Fav: Ben Stiller, Matthew McConnaghfuckwhatever, Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell...

#5. Your Fav female singer: Dory Previn, possibly. :D
Least Fav: That fucking Sparks chick is so much fail.

#6. Your Fav Food: I'm a sucker for Malaysian Hawker shit. :D
Least Fav: Steak? Sausages? I still have flashbacks to finding gristle in a sausage when I was 9.

#7. Your Fav place to visit: I still have great memories of Mauritius. I really want to go back next year.
Least Fav: Canberra.

#8. Your Fav flower: Roses. I like some orchids too. My wedding was orchids and roses.
Least Fav: Every fucking Australian native fucking plant ever.

#9. Your Fav TV show: Right now? Harper's Island. FUCK YAH. We also love Everyone Hates Chris, pity that was cancelled.
Least Fav: I hate so much. The Loop and How I met Your Mother are beyond awful.

#10. A Fav Movie: I think my favourite has always been a toss up between I, Robot and Master & Commander. But dem, GI Joe was fucking class. In Bruges, also legendary. The History Boys, also yay. Fifth Element, similarly rockfull. The Fall was fucking SWEET. Kung-Fu Hustle, HELL YEAH. Unleashed, OMG. Mummy until MUMMY 3 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOMINATION.
Least Fav: Big Fish, Hell Boy 2, Max Payne, anything Tim Burton has touched since Edward Scissorhands. Andy suggested Surrogates should be on this list too, but I don't think it even comes close to the fucking horror that was Hell Boy 2. Oh. And Mummy 3. Holy. Shit.

I'm watching RENT

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:49:44 GMT

Every time I see this I think why the fuck don't they just get jobs and pay the rent?

EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CAST apart from Mark and Roger manages to do that.

What fucks!

God those two are fail. You know a song is going to start sucking the moment Roger opens his fucking mouth, and you know you're going to want to punch Mark as soon as he appears anywhere.

Doesn't help that I'm watching it with Andy-the-cynic. Watching the Maureen scene where everyone starts mooing, he says: "The only difference between you people and cows is that cows produce something."

I'm amused in that scene that the expression Benny makes when Maureen snerks at him is less OH NOES WHAT A HO than DAMN MY WIFE'S A BITCH.

Shit, every time I watch this I feel so sorry for Benny. His friends or ex friends are a bunch of pathetic deadbeat fucks.

Catholicism fail.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:47:19 GMT

Apparently Catholic charity has its limits. The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, D.C. issued a threat to the City Council on Wednesday saying, it would stop helping residents under its social service programs, unless a proposed same-sex marriage law is changed to its liking. The church wants to feel free to discriminate against gays while receiving public funds and the D.C. Council is having none of it. One council member Phil Mendelson (D-At Large), chairman of the judiciary committee said, bluntly we “will not legislate based on threats.”

http://chattahbox.com/us/2009/11/12/catholic-church-threatens-dc-over-gay-rights/

Also of interest: Is sex for the disabled the last taboo?

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6912760.ece

On the poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:13:39 GMT

Rochelle: well his name was percy. that's got a mess with a guy
Rachel: I adore that name
Rochelle: yes. you should rename andy
Rachel: I already have. You don't think he was born Andy do you? I gave him two choices when we met, either he was an Andy or a Drew. Or he could make some other shit up.
Rochelle: what did he go by before?
Rachel: Andrew. lol. So not a big change but I didn't like that
Rochelle: so he totally changed his name. first and last
Rachel: Yeah.
Rochelle: you must have a magical vagina

Writer's Block: Famous last words

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:24:10 GMT

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to express them? Do you ever imagine how friends and family will react when they learn of your death?

Submitted By whoismarion

View 1454 Answers

...and I'm gonna take every last motherfucking one of you with me.

I mean, IDEALLY, that's how I'd want to go.

NO. NO. NO.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:22:00 GMT

I have like a crazy love for hot blasian guys, because they are win. I have special love for Ne-Yo, not just because he writes songs that are like YAY I love a smart woman that's SO AWESOME but...

Really hot right?????? OH NOES.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE TAKES HIS HAT OFF.

WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL

the life of ME.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:41:07 GMT

I'm currently screaming - along with about twenty other authors - at the bullshittery that has been made of a publishing house which brought out a book of ours.

The publishing house is in Canada, Ontario. I'm wondering if anyone knows any lawyers in that neck of the woods? Or if anyone IS a lawyer in that neck of the woods?

Basically I want to break my contract because THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DICKS.

IT IS MY BIRTHDAY

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:42:29 GMT

I REQUIRE PRESENTS FROM YOU ALL.

Thus:

Below, please post the most hilarious thing you have seen on the internet this week.

snork

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:02:29 GMT

see more Epic Fails

Met a guy from across the hall today. He was interested in me doing some writing for him. How curious.

My screaminess over publisher A fucking dying a death may be fixed by publisher B. Fingers crossed.

chocolate girl

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:37:32 GMT

My phone is still broken.

I fell asleep on a bar of chocolate last night. I woke up and thought I was covered in blood. No. It was chocolate. I was fucking covered in chocolate.

I called Andy up and was like bitch go home and fix my fucking bed and he's like OH HA HA HA HA YOU GOT BROWN ON YOU. Little fuck.

At least when I got home I discovered he had put that wash on. :/

I still have chocolate on me.

It is itchy.

Guy on one of my writing mailing lists is like OMG CRYS I want it to be CHRISTMAS DAY why don't we have an end of year party that's called the CHRISTMAS PARTY WAILYWAIL and is now writing passive aggressive shite on the forum. He is the same guy who writes WAILYWAIL I'm not participating if someone writes anything about religion or using that as a theme. I have kept my mouth soooo shut because his wailywail is hysterically lulfable. I'm pretty sure he's in his 40s but seems to act like he's 4.

Oh, the lame.

The Fall - movie review

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:02:34 GMT

fucking legendary

really, it's the most fucking stunning movie ever.

you should watch it.

that's it. just watch it.

beer and crosswords: proof i'm turning into my mum

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 07:04:20 GMT

Today I spent outside a pub, nursing a beer and doing crosswords. Well the time I didn't spend flirting online with ivyblossom who is, as I'm sure my previous posts on the subject have clarified, really very shit at it.

I also watched some Christopher Hitchens, who never fails to make me righteously angry and desperate to hug him. Oh the conflict. Oh the need to facepunch. Also watched some Ayaan Hirsi Ali videos who is, well, interesting.

A lot of my friends appear to have deleted their journals. Where did you go? I do not know.

I didn't finish the crossword unfortunately.

Tonight we are making our 'staple'. Here is the recipe: Make pasta. Fry red onion, corgettes, mushrooms, and asparagus. Put that shit in there. Eat that shit. YUM. No, I'm never going to write a great cook book. Oh and some peppers.

We are short on cash right now. We have $120 in the bank. :( We get paid Thursday. I have money in my freelancing account - about $4k or so - but I haven't worked out how to take out tax from New Zealand yet so I don't want to touch it until I see my accountant. At least we have all our groceries.

"Can fat teens hunt" is a new reality tv show apparently on TV. This show sounds a) fucking horrible for more reasons that I can count and also b) unappealing as the phrasing automatically suggests a slight reordering of the words would create a much more interesting show: "Can we hunt fat teens?"

BEST THING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?

Our futon is a bit like this and win to sleep on. We also have new pillows and shit like that.

I am currently reading some Eva Ibbotson and feeling conflicted. Part of this issue is related to the fact that her characters are so saccharine the only one I can relate to is the fucking evil nazi blonde wife person, because at least she possesses a personality. But. Also (and Eva Ibbotson is older than WW2, please note) because it has rather awful descriptions of red heads being possessed of a crazy temperament and Jews being saddened by their naturally frizzy hair and large noses, but having an inborn ability with money. I'm pretty down with racism in fiction as most authors flag some self-awareness of either their racism or the fact they don't personally approve of what their characters are doing, but Ibbotson... hasn't. I am quite confounded.

I should point out that Ibbotson is AFAIK half Jewish.

I'm considering dumping all my vegan communities.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 07:27:56 GMT

They're ALL going crazy antivacc.

This is insane.

I've dumped a local New Zealand one.

The international ones also seem infected by this bullshit.

Fucking. Fucking. Fucking what.

Your fucking politics on fucking animal rights are LESS IMPORTANT THAN MAKING SURE THE WORLD IS VACCINATED.

What the fuck.

What is wrong with these people.

bed

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:11:39 GMT

I now have a futon, after over a year of sleeping on the ground.

This is an interesting development.

I wonder if this means we have officially moved to stay in NZ?

I'm not 100% sure if I'm going to be here forever. I still feel like I should be in England. It's sort of my home and when I feel homesick it's for England. I grew up in a little village (okay the biggest motherfucking village in Europe but wtfever) and it was so lovely.

-

In other news about assholery, I have been in Andy's mail:

Andy Astruc 02 November at 18:29
Rachel says you owe her some money and she wants it back. And she has been messaging you for weeks about her nominations in the Aurealis awards and you never replied. :/

Hinge Temporarily 03 November at 00:58
dude... i'm not sure what else i can do for her. i've nominated her stories* and now have to print and mail out *45* copies all up, one per judge. that's several hundred pages, several envelopes, heaps of stamps and a lot of time and effort. and i can only do the printing on the sly at work 'cause personal stuff can get one in serious trouble**. i'm not sure what she's stressing about. and the only message i got was a wall post about a week ago***.
weird.

as for the money, i'll pop the rest of it to her account next thursday when my paycheck lands.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

LET ME annotate bitch.

*NO, no he didn't. I was ACTUALLY TALKING HIM THROUGH IT and he managed to nominate four out of 10. Please note, to nominate something, you fill half a dozen fields on an INTERNET FORM and press SEND. This is not motherfucking rocket science. He also managed to nominate a random fucking story I told him was not nominateable. What. The. Fuck really.

**This is SOOOOO CLASSIC! I mean I would say OMG IT IS SO HARD LISTEN TO ME WAIL ABOUT CLIMBING EVEREST IS IT LIKE THE HARDEST SHIT EVER but you know what UNLESS I ACTUALLY FUCKING DO WHAT I SAID I'D MOTHERFUCKING DO it counts for MOTHERFUCKING SHIT ALL. I think it's awesome though. APPARENTLY if he thinks about doing something HE HAS TWO FUCKING MONTHS TO DO then that counts as ACTUALLY GETTING OFF HIS ASS AND DOING IT. Brilliant. I have no high hopes for getting the money back then. I bet he'll just THINK it into my bank account.

USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!

*** THAT IS A COMPLETE LIE. I'VE BEEN THROUGH MY MESSAGES. HE'S GOT FUCKING EIGHT FROM ME. GOING BACK A MONTH. AND NEVER MIND HOW MANY HE GOT ON CHAT.

What a shit.

wailwail

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:02:13 GMT

Working at work. Had a big work discussion thing. AAAH. Was filled with drama. But you know, it's recruitment.

Anyway I was asked what motivates me and what excites me and nothing actually does. So I'm wondering if I should have a career change. I was considering trying something in the sex industry. Yes, I know, my hypochondria is going to really, really fucking kill me... but I think I might wake up and actually enjoy my job then. I just wrote to some people who work in it at the moment. We shall see what happens. I'd like to do an apprenticeship or something.

I got drunk and went down to the fireworks which were SPECTACULAR and even more legendary than last year's! Yay Guy Fawkes!

Oops, I mean, burn the bastard!

phone fail

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:51:07 GMT

There is a fault on the line. Yes. Really. A fault on the line. So we have no phone until fucking Saturday. Fantastic.

I'm watching Primer, which makes it hard to type a post, because I feel like I'm going to miss something important that will make me feel smart.

Graarrrrr.

In other horrible news.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:37:15 GMT

I'm working full time for the next week.

As I'm sure you all know, I don't function working full time. That's just NOT ME.

This work is across both my jobs, the one-that-pays and the one-that-doesn't, because both have major projects going - on one side I have to write a major business document and on the other build an intranet section.

I had an insane number of corrections for my magazine that I do this month because I had two days to build the dem hell thing. Now I look crap at my job.

ARGH.

Also my phone is fucking broken.

WTF. I've never had a phone BREAK before.

yeah so there's this competition in australia

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:19:45 GMT

the science fiction and fantasy awards, right

and i cry every year because no fucker nominates me and i'm not physically able to enter myself in myself

and a friend of mine two months ago said that he'd put my stuff in

and he fucking didn't

didn't even bother to send off the material as he'd said he would for the ones he did manage to fucking submit

two fucking months

i sent him countless mails to say please could you do it
let me know if there is any trouble
i emailed him everything he'd need
i kept checking up

i've just got into shit from the fucking coveners when andy was like the fucker will not fucking come through, suck it up, he's useless, i'm going to submit the shit myself

and then we got messages from the people there going yeah the guy who originally submitted stuff didn't bother to send anything in

i'm getting fucked on

by fucking awards people

makes me look fucking great

i fucking paid for that asshole's rent when he was in trouble

fuck you, busfrend

just, fuck you

Nanoing.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:52:26 GMT

Ivy:
I'll make you an account
what's your email?

Rachel:
popelindessaixATyahooDOTcoDOTuk

Ivy:
right
you should have just gotten an email

Rachel:
OMG WHAT ARE YOU PSYCHIC
That toally just happened.

I may be too easily amused.

quick movie review: surrogates

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:36:22 GMT

it was shite. you've been warned.

Writer's Block: Seeing stars

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:28:09 GMT

Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?

Submitted By blue_mariposa88

View 2263 Answers

(although perhaps this because she looks like my ridiculously hot ex? srsly tho. girls who look like that are my fecking kryptonite.)

Musicals.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:14:02 GMT

Wicked depresses me. I still can't get over how fucking awful the music is. There's West Side Story bad, which is ear-coveringly awful, but Wicked just kicks it the fuck up a notch, doesn't it? I wouldn't wail on about this so much except I REALLY ENJOYED THE BOOK, I thought the book was clever and lyrical and vague and wandering in a terrifically old fashioned way.

Anyway.

In a moment of nostalgia I went poking around for musicals I DO like. And fuck. Andrew Lloyd Webber is just really really good at them, isn't he? The British versions of them seem to be uniformly shite (I'll pay Phantom, but not THAT much) and the American ones are fairly grotty too, but the Australian casts seem to get Webber in a way that kicks arse.

I'm pretty sure that's what a fucking Musical should fucking sound like. LIKE PASSION AND ROCKIN. That motherfucker is Judas and HE'S GOING TO ANGST AT YOU WITH AN ELECTRICAL GUITAR. Yeah.

I'm on Nanowrimo by the way. Search for my last name. :) Add me.

Graahh...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:37:08 GMT

I wrote ahead for avepasifika and now I have a chapter and I can't update it until someone friends the journal and this is where the whole story starts getting interesting!

Pirates and villains! Joinyjoin!

sigh.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:48:09 GMT

After watching Michael McIntyre shite I was looking up stuff on camp guys and google's third choice is a book called "The Camp Men: The SS Officers Who Ran the Nazi Concentration Camp System".

That's actually not what I wanted, thanks Google.